Emma Approved, Episode 45: Glossary of Words and Phrases

Or…better than most people
= Alex Knightley is my closest friend in the entire world.

And though she may be single, there is nothing wrong with that. NOTHING.
= I enjoy being single and am getting increasingly POed at the insinuations that my life is unfufilled because of it.

As always.
= Gawd, I hope this solution works.

Nobody out-party-plans Emma Woodhouse.
= Oh, it’s on.

Are you okay?
= What is WRONG with you?

Sure.
= A direct hit! YESSSS! :::inner fistpump:::

What about Chef Cyril?
= Fandom, take note: Emma has come up with some crazy-ass convoluted plans, but she does genuinely care about people

Ryan Weston?
= Good lord, are you two demonspawn infiltrating yourself EVERYWHERE in my life?

Desserts? Macrobiotic desserts, that’s basically fruit.
= Nobody wangles a massive last-minute dessert order out of Annie but me, b***hes.

Of course, my darling.
= I just ADORE the sound of being called “First Lady”.

Couples only.
= Feel the burn.

After all, the best person to get relationship advice from is someone actually in a happy relationship of their own.
= Your matchmaking skills are a joke and your business is doomed.

That he does!
= You are both pure evil.

No, we shouldn’t.
= No, I’m not.

I’m glad I could make your life better.
= I will end you…and steal your tagline.

Emma Approved, Episode 44: Glossary of Words and Phrases

It could be me, and not just her
= Like hell it’s just me

Just ask Frank Churchill!
= Why yes, I am still thinking about Frank, why do you ask?

No one calls him Al!
= Except for me in about two minutes.

Perfectly manicured hands
= I hate her

I have some very…high-profile friends.
= Internet, brace yourselves, Darcy is coming.

I hate to waste her time, again
= Wasting Harriet’s time fills my cold heart with little bubbles of glee.

Good for her.
= Crap.

Can you make sure their menu is macrobiotic
= I am going to be the most high-maintenance wife you have ever seen.

Unorthodox
= Dumbass

I’m sure there’s a way around that, if need be.
= Rules do not apply to the wonderment that is me.

Everything is coming together so easily!
= I do so enjoy making your life difficult.

I doubt I could keep up with you.
= I would rather put my eye out with a spoon than spend the afternoon with you.

Plain
= Fugly

She’s not living there, she’s just back home for a little while.
= Nobody disses the Bateses but me, lady.

I can find someone for you too, seriously.
= Your matchmaking skills are for crap, Emma Woodhouse.

I’m good.
= F**k you.

I can keep a secret! You can trust me.
= I am a snake in the grass.

What happens when some young, independent woman comes out of nowhere and just snatches him out of your fingers?
= I hate you, Lizzie Bennet.

This was fun!
= For me.

Have your assistant send those invitations as soon as possible.
= Never forget that you’re working for me.

[Loud sigh]
= NOTICE ME, DAMMIT!!!

The client is always right.
= Please don’t blow this job.

Those two are not mutually exclusive.
= Dealing with clients sucks, baby.

Go on.
= This should be fun. I’ll get the popcorn.

Kettle, have you met my friend pot?
= I am the voice of the fandom.

Sorry.
= Not sorry.

To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union