Emma Approved, episode 63: Glossary of words and phrases

You could ask for some foresight about how hard it is to plan two big events at the same time!
= I wouldn’t recognize foresight if it looked me right in the eye and told me how hard it is to plan two big events at the same time…which, actually, it kind of did. More than once.

Miscalculation
= Failure lite

What do they think, that people would just drop everything and bow to their will?
= My hypocrisy really has reached breathtaking proportions, hasn’t it?

Mr. Pitt really enjoys an afterparty.
= It’s not name-dropping if you do it right.

Cuz a West Coast party just stopped.
= You’re not the man I was subconsciously hoping would come through that door.

It’s a noble cause.
= I can always find a justification for treating loved-ones badly if I look hard enough.

It was the Laavva people’s fault, not yours.
= To hell with personal responsibility.

Roll with the punches. That’s what I always say.
= I can hurt people and still live a guilt-free life.

Being in your presence puts me in a good mood, Emma Woodhouse. You’ve always had that effect on me.
= I can always count on the frivolous nature of our banter to help me forget my angst.

Oh, yes! Hip-hop.
= I cannot pull this move off.

Productive
= Unproductive

Fascinating
= Agonizingly insufferable

I have work to do.
= I would rather put my eye out with a spork!

It’s so sad when people put their jobs above everything else.
= I’m not actually talking about Alex.

Do you have a date?
= Would you like to be my date?

I’ll be too busy handling everything.
= Please do not ask me to be your date.

She must be very lively, and have clear eyes.
= Jane Fairfax

I trust your instincts.
= Let’s see if you’ve figured this out yet.

Do you have a candidate in mind?
= How much do you know?

I have some ideas.
= Harriet and Frank, sitting in a tree…

Exotic preserves
= Bilge

So rational.
= So uptight.

Try it!
= Everyone should share the pain!

That may be…boy…the worst thing that ever touched my tastebuds.
= Oh sweet lord, this is what evil must taste like!

Don’t let your personal connections blind you into making bad business decisions.
= Let good business decisions blind you into destroying your personal connections!

JANE isn’t on the company letterhead!
= Jane and I are still fighting

Let’s give them a night to remember.
= Let’s burn bridges and p**s people off!

[New episode] The Knighthouse Arc, "The Truth Hurts" - EA Fanfiction [AO3]

This is the continuation of the fanfiction I started to post last week, because I can’t resist predicting the scripts of episodes where OTPs get together.

This arc will have three episodes to it, which I’m releasing bit-by-bit. This is the second episode, wherein Emma does a lot of soul-searching and dines out on a lot of crow.

(I’m hoping to time the release of the dénouement so that it goes up very shortly after the Boxx-in-the-Hills fiasco in the real Emma Approved series; thus - hopefully - giving the fandom some kind of joy after watching a really depressing episode.)

I love getting comments, so if the spirit moves you, tell me what you think?

Emma Approved: the last ten episodes, a prediction

Okay, so berniesu's AMA today revealed that EA will hit the end of the book at Episode 72. Episode 62 aired today. Sooo…how is this all going to play out??? My guesses:

Episode 63, airing 2014-Jul-21:

  • Final pre-Boxx insanity
  • Emma and Frank’s behaviour gets increasingly crazy/inappropriate/jealous-making-for-Jane

Between-episode action, 2014-Jul-23:

  • Boxx opening, as announced
  • Stuff will likely hit the fan a little bit on Twitter (i.e. Emma’s gaff re: Maddy and there being too much intimacy between Emma and Frank)

Episode 64, airing 2014-Jul-24:

  • Post-Boxx disaster fallout
  • Alex tells Emma off (“Badly done, Emma”)
  • Alex can’t stand it anymore and heads off to Izzy and John’s to put some distance between the two of them

Episode 65, airing 2014-Jul-28:

  • Emma feels genuinely horrible about being a bad friend to Annie and Maddy
  • Emma makes up with Annie
  • Emma makes up with Maddy
  • While making up with Maddy, Emma finds out that Jane has decided to take an out-of-town job which Caroline found for her
  • Emma offers Jane some kind of assistance and is unceremoniously rebuffed

Between-episode action, 2014-Jul-28 to 2014-Jul-31:

  • Whatever obstacle (a cranky but crucial investor, perhaps?) has been preventing Frank and Jane from going public with their relationship will be suddenly and fortuitously removed
  • Frank will find out that Jane is planning to leave town and has broken up with him
  • Frank drops everything as soon as he possibly can and runs back to profess his undying love for Jane and to beg her to take him back
  • Frank and Jane make up

Episode 66, airing 2014-Jul-31:

  • Annie reveals the Frank and Jane bombshell to Emma

Episode 67, airing 2014-Aug-04:

  • Emma agonizes about breaking the news to Harriet about Frank and Jane
  • Harriet reveals to Emma that she actually likes Alex, not Frank
  • The Truth bursts in on Emma like a lightning bolt
  • Harriet explains why she thinks Alex likes her back and Emma, much to her grief, thinks there may be something to this
  • (I’m particularly biased about how I think this and the next two episodes will go since I’m currently in the process of releasing a three-episode fanfic about this particular part of the story.)

Episode 68, airing 2014-Aug-07:

  • The emotional aftermath of Harriet’s big reveal:
  • Emma talks about the depth of her feelings for Alex
  • Emma realises she’s been pretty s**tty this whole time
  • Emma talks about how she’s done nothing but screw Harriet over
  • Emma talks about how she feels Harriet dating Alex is a bad idea
  • Annie shows up and gives us more insight into how Jane’s been doing
  • Annie hints at a future long explanation from Frank about everything that happened with him and Jane

Episode 69, airing 2014-Aug-11:

  • Alex hears about Frank and Jane and returns immediately from Izzy and John’s to comfort Emma
  • Romantic tension and misunderstanding ensue
  • KNIGHTHOUSE KISSING

Episode 70, airing 2014-Aug-14:

  • Emma breaks the news to Harriet about all the KNIGHTHOUSE KISSING
  • Harriet is understandably POed
  • Harriet decides to take a break from EA and heads off to hang out with Izzy and John for a while (perhaps doing some mother’s helper-ing as Izzy is perhaps very stressed with her degree work at the moment)

Between-episodes action, 2014-Aug-14 to 2014-Aug-18:

  • B-Mart goes to do some computer work for Izzy and John (probably on Alex’s recommendation)
  • B-Mart and Harriet meet up
  • MARRIET KISSING

Episode 71, airing 2014-Aug-18:

  • Alex, having been brought into the know by B-Mart, tells Emma about the MARRIET KISSING
  • (Personally I think this should happen onscreen using nanny-cam footage from Izzy and John’s - I even wrote a shamelessly goofy fanfic about it)

Episode 72, airing 2014-Aug-21:

  • Full explanation of the Frank and Jane story, possibly with accompanying FAIRHILL KISSING
  • General wrap-up of the series
  • Alex and Emma give each other sloppy looks throughout
  • The end!

Emma Approved, episode 62: Glossary of words and phrases

The party that I am hosting
= The party that Harriet is hosting

Ugh. Talk about pretentious.
= Hypocrisy doesn’t bother me.

JANE FAIRFAX!
= No one escapes the baby shower and lives!

I’m not really into chocolate, and games are just not my—
= I can’t talk to Caroline for one more minute.

I can’t talk to Caroline for one more minute.
= And also, Frank hasn’t shown up.

Some people need to learn how to stay out of other people’s affairs.
= It really doesn’t bother me. Like, at all.

That’s very unorthodox.
= My gawd, you are pure evil.

Well, I thought we put out a release early enough to avoid any competition.
= Don’t you blame me for this!

Mm, well, that’s not good.
= Jennifer Anniston owns Laavva.

It’s…kinda childish.
= Vive la irony.

And he hung up. Alrightee then.
= I will have such revenges on you both,
That all the world shall—I will do such things,—
What they are, yet I know not: but they shall be
The terrors of the earth.
King Lear (2.4.305-9)

The party’s already winding down.
= Jane’s gone.

Most of the guests have bounced!
= Jane’s gone.

Jane’s gone.
= This party blows.

The only bib you’ll see me in goes with lobster tail.
= The estrogen level in there is suffocating.

Compared to what’s going on out there, I really, really do
= If I have to hear Caroline blather on about controlling Jane’s life for ONE MORE SECOND…

There you are.
= You are in deep brown trouble, Emma.

Maybe I’ll go see if Alex wants a rematch in Diaper Derby.
= I would rather walk over hot coals than stay in a room with two women who are mad at each other.

That’s a great idea.
= GTFO.

Things just got a little out of hand
= Things are on an unstoppable roller coaster ride to the nadir of the plot.

Do what you need to do.
= Our friendship is so over.

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